If, like me, you’ve been glued to your TV screen over the past week or so watching the 2010 World Cup in South Africa unfold, then you’ll probably be as utterly depressed over proceedings as I am. It comes to something when the premiere soccer showpiece event is livened up by the attractive attacking play of the Germans.
Being brutal, the games so far, with few exceptions, have been utterly dire.

Teams, so devoid of attacking thrust due to the impotence cause by fear of defeat, have been happy to surrender timidly to get a point. Attacking play of note has been at a premium. How much of that is down to FIFA’s ridiculous new ball is open to conjecture, I am sure not every single player in World Football, bar the Germans, have forgotten how to cross a ball, shoot or pass a ball effectively.
So in keeping with this rather dull theme, I thought it would be nice if some of the major betting companies around created betting markets for some of the second round games. I know it would increase my enjoyment if we were allowed to bet on some of the markets shown below. Let’s face it, juggling toasters in the bath has been preferable to watching some games…
Anyway, here’s a list of some second round games together with some bets I’d like to see made available for us punters… Hopefully one creative bookmaker is watching to help us liven up proceedings…
17th June 2010 : France V Mexico
Market : How long will it be before French Manager Raymond Domenech (pictured) makes an entirely baffling and somewhat confusing tactical change or substitution?
17th June 2010 : Greece V Nigeria
Market : During which of the opening ten minutes of the game will the Greek tragedy, known as Giorgios Samaras, lose possession of the ball for the first time in a feckless and entirely witless manner?
17th June 2010 : Argentina V South Korea
Market : During which minute of the first half will the commentary team you are enduring become almost instantly orgasmic, when Lionel Messi does something vaguely skilful with the football?
18th June 2010 : England V Algeria
Market : How many English pundits (in their thousands) will claim at half time that it is impossible for Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard to play effectively together in the English midfield?
18th June 2010 : Germany V Serbia
Market : After how many minutes will Serbian defender Nemanja Vidic crack Miroslav Klose over the nose with an “accidental elbow”?
19th June 2010 : Ghana V Australia
Market : After how many minutes will your commentary team state “This is a must win game for Australia!”
19th June 2010 : Holland V Japan
Market : How many free kicks will be conceded by Japan before Wesley Sneijder attempts to shoot the ball into the Japanese net from over 50 yards out?
20th June 2010 : Brazil V Ivory Coast
Market : After how many seconds of the first minute will Sven Goran Eriksson instruct his Ivory Coast side to play conservatively and try and snatch a draw?
21st June 2010 : Portugal V North Korea
Market : How many times during the game will a commentator mention how much Cristiano Ronaldo earns per week, compared to the average North Korean player?
Let’s face it, we need to liven the World Cup up some way…